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Tuesday, Sept. 07, 2004 - 10:27 a.m.

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Got a double whammy man shock last night just minutes before I signed off online.

1. The man I wrote this for back on July 23rd:

http://meintaiwan.diaryland.com/040722_61.html

sent me a response. Almost 2 months later. Here it is (name intentionally withheld.)

Hi Debra,

Yes, once again, I'm soooooooo sorry. I don't know if u will ever read this mail, if u still use this address etc. Anyhow, I thought I will give it a shot. Somehow this message feels kind of like a message in a bottle that I am throwing into the ocean. I suppose there's no harm in trying.

Ok, I had a very hard time when I got back. I knew what the rules of the game was and I voluntarily engaged in it. Maybe I didn't bargain on the fact that I had to deal with myself after out last meeting. I really tried my best to convince myself that I should remember it for what it was, nothing more. Well, I failed miserably in my attempts to do so. Fact is I miss u a lot and I will probably do so for a very long time if not for the rest of my life.

Anyhow, I guess that's what I deserve and I should have known that a small town boy should never even have thought about getting involved with a city gal.

There u have it....in a nutshell......I miss miss miss miss u. I hope u receive this mail and that u will reply. If not, well then I suppose there's nothing left for me besides accepting it. In that event, take care and I wish u the best for the future.


2. A very brief innocently romantic flirtation of mine from SF about a month before I left emailed me a very positive feedback email about the site. When I asked him if I could use the feedback for a new FEEDBACK page on the website (coming soon), he said sure. I knew he had a website, so I offered to post the link with the comment. When I went to the link last night I saw that he was on his way to China. What?!!?!?!

There is one reason why I am telling you all this info. I have heard a lot lately (lately since I started doing a lot of traveling 3 years ago) something along the lines of "I really admire what youre doing." "Youre really interesting." "I wish I could do that." Etc, etc, from guys who were giving me a winky and flirty look.

I DONT think that what I am doing is all that extraordinary. For an American maybe, but traveling is not hard to start doing. Anyone can do it if they trade off some of the things we are told we HAVE to have in life.

But I am not here to toot my horn. I just dont understand why these men seem interested, even start dating me and expressing actual interest and feelings for me....and then RUN LIKE HELL!

I dont future talk at all, and I am so unclingy its unreal. I have been told that I am argumentative and opinionated, but this appears from the get go and is accompanied with a killer sense of humor.

So, what the fuck?

I would rather nothing than being strung along and then abandoned. J****, to reply to your email.

No more,

just like I said before. You had MANY chances to shit or get off the pot, and you stood there doing nothing. Miss you all you want, but you HAD me. I was there and you ran. Fast. I think you missed me while I was still in your arms. I felt it then, and I feel it now when I read this email. Stop! I deserve to be showered with love NOT shit on repeatedly.

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