Monday, Aug. 30, 2004 - 10:22 p.m.

Oh yeah, I need to leave NOW. This selling stuff is making me feel really vulnerable and shit. I sold my 5,000 nt guitar for 800 nt today. I talked him up from 500 nt. I went to a guitar store that an acquantance told me about ages ago(Peter Chan, adding to links page soon).

Its not his fault that I got caught up in the IDEA of learning the guitar and thus would stop hating my life here. Its mine. All mine. That was a VERY expensive mistake.

LIVE WHERE YOU LOVE TO LIVE!

Words of advice that I continually ignore and then bitch about.

Maybe I will feel differently about Taiwan once I am outta here, but I still dont like it here. Nope, sorry. I think that although the locals are friendly people, there is a basic lacking in mental energy. Man is that gunna piss some people off. I dont care. Taiwan is not the only place in the world where I can say that there is a lot of intellectually missing from the area, its just a place where this lacking is so widespread.

I WISH I could go through life only doing what people tell me to do and never questioning or thinking for myself. But there are too many forces pulling me in other directions for me to be comfortable with that. Too damn many. And then there is the higher education system in the states that actually ENCOURAGE you to think creatively and by yourself. Ha, that would NOT fly over here. Not for a second. Although all the group work I did in college would have been easier if done here.

Why the hell did I take a picture of a payphone?

As you can tell I am in a bitchy mood. I was having a fucking amazing eye day until I drove to work. But the locals are burning ghost money today like its the last time they will do it! Ouch! The particulate matter produced by this is unreal. And then my co-worker started putting stuff on my desk again. And I have a cold. And I am leaving my apartment tomorrow. And now I am hungry. And I am still scared about going home. "What next" is a dancing iguana in a multi-color 70's bell bottom jumpsuit prancing around in front of me, taunting me. Ugh!