Wednesday, Aug. 25, 2004 - 10:45 p.m.

In such a BAD mood right now and I am not sure why. Honestly I wanna blame it on the good romantic comedy I saw last night. "Casanova Falling" was the name. I think it was an old one, judging from the dress and other small details. But it was a good, funny yet predictable romantic comedy.

Why do I wanna blame my mood on it then? Cause it showed a complete ASSHOLE man change for the "right" woman. What message does this send out? Ohhhhhhhhhh, dont think I will pass up this opportunity to tell you. I AM DAMMIT. It tells you that if you accidentally have a date with an asshole and he stays an asshole, then you ARE NOT WORTHY OF HIM CHANGING.

Bitter. How dare you call it that clearly!

Yes, I am a bit bitter I suppose. But really, cant we have a romantic comedy about two decent, albeit flawed (like we all are, right!?!?!) people fall in love. There are probably ones like this out there, but that was not what I watched last night. Ugh. But this movie reminded me of so many where the man changes because......

I dont wanna change a man. Nor do I wanna baby him. I want a whole person. I want someone who can take care of themselves emotionally, physically and financially. I want to be wanted for who I am as a person and the connection I have with someone, NOT what I can DO for them.

Ok. Truth be told, I have an update from Mr. Wonderful from the other weekend. (sigh). I found out I was givin out the wrong phone number (missing 2 numbers.) So I thought this was explaining why he didnt call. Nice.

So when I found this out, I broke down and called him. He answered but pretended he was someone else. (He has a thick German accent and lives alone, so ...) Asshole!

Feeling entirely too old for this shit.

On top of that I screwed up a bit on the last day of my Aladdin class, its raining like mad (we are in line for 2 typhoons at the same time as of tomorrow), I still havent sold my scooter, and I am having a bad eye day (started wondering today if I can hire someone to make me blind, they have assisted suicides, so are there assisted eye blindings. No kidding. Well, ok I am, but this is frustrating. Yesterday I had such an amazing eye day. Roller fucking coaster this is!)

The point? Bad week, bad life, bad men. Ugh.

6am update the next day.....
He called at 3am. Hahahaha. Unreal. I still think men suck, but maybe now it can at least be in THAT good way. Naughty naughty monkey girl that I am.